In this thought experiment, I provide a philosophical reading of the “Karen call” to explain its persistence and impact. I argue the call is an act of shepherding in the twenty-first century—fulling the ethical responsibility and duty of Dasein, as Heidegger presents it in his philosophy. Every call performs ontological labor—a guarding and surveillance of Being—requiring a vigilant policing of ontological boundaries and a marshaling of violence (state sanctioned) to prevent black encroachment (the violation of ontological interdiction). The cell phone, as modern technology, is the nexus between “the call of Being” and the “call to law enforcement” (Karen call). This guarding relies on the cell phone as an indispensable technology of surveillance. The Karen call is a response to an ontological emergency.

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