This critical joint autoethnography explores experiences as a dyad of a heteroromantic asexual cisgender man and woman through the lenses of queer theory and generosity. Through a series of open letters parodying love letters, we attempt to name ourselves and our relationship in an allocentric society that sees sex as paramount and offers no intelligible space for a heteroromantic cross-sex pair to be anything other than romantically or sexually involved. We argue that the lack of sexual desire inherent in our asexual orientation creates space to disrupt the binary between love and friendship and creates the conditions necessary for true generosity as the nonlovers Socrates denied exist. By queering and asexualizing generosity, we collectively imagine a world where sex is not paramount, and open and loving generosity is possible.

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